Introduction
Long before dating apps and DMs, Japan had its own system of matchmaking—formal and respectful, often backed by families. It’s called omiai (お見合い), a traditional custom that shaped many marriages for generations. While some may view it as outdated today, omiai still plays a significant role in Japanese society. This is especially true in rural areas or among more traditional families.
When discussing arranged marriages in Japan, omiai is central to the conversation.
When people inquire about arranged marriages in Japan, omiai is central to that narrative.
What Is Omiai?
In the 1960s, nearly 70% of Japanese marriages were arranged through omiai.
Omiai is a formal process of arranged marriage introductions in Japan. Unlike casual matchmaking, omiai involves families and go-betweens (called nakōdo). There’s a mutual understanding that marriage is the goal from the start. It’s more than just a romantic introduction; it’s a life decision made with strategy and care.
By the 1960s, nearly 70% of Japanese marriages were arranged through omiai.
The roots of omiai go back centuries. In feudal Japan, marriages were often alliances between families, particularly among the samurai class. Over time, this practice reached the general population, especially during the Meiji and Taishō periods. By the postwar era, omiai became common in many households.
However, that number has dropped significantly. Today, only around 5-6% of marriages in Japan are arranged. Yet, arranged marriages in Japan haven’t disappeared; they’ve simply evolved.
How Omiai Works
In the omiai process, families or matchmakers introduce two eligible individuals. This introduction is typically made through the exchange of personal files. These documents include photos, educational background, employment details, salary, hobbies, height, and blood type.
Once both parties agree to meet, the omiai occurs—usually in a quiet café or hotel lounge. Both individuals, as well as sometimes their parents or matchmaker, are present. After the meeting, both sides decide whether they want to continue. If both agree, they begin dating, often with marriage as the goal. If not, the search continues.
It’s common to think of omiai as cold or impersonal. However, many people in Japan view it as efficient and secure. In a culture where family reputation and stability often overshadow individual emotion, arranged marriages in Japan offer predictability and approval.
Many older Japanese—and even some younger individuals—still value arranged marriages in Japan. This is especially true in communities where family ties and traditions hold significant importance over personal freedom.
At first glance, Tinder and omiai couldn’t be more different. One is quick, visual, and emotion-led; the other is slow, formal, and logic-driven. But look deeper, and there’s a surprising similarity: both aim to connect people for romantic relationships—just with different rules.Several key reasons explain why arranged marriages still exist in Japan:
In many ways, omiai was the original Japanese dating app. It involved profiles, filtering criteria, and matches based on compatibility and preferences. Families acted as the algorithm. While today’s Japanese youth may swipe right on apps like Pairs, Omiai (yes, there’s a dating app named after the practice), or Tinder, the goal isn’t so different.
Still, many older Japanese people—and even some younger ones—continue to value arranged marriages in Japan. This is especially true in communities where family ties and tradition hold more weight than personal freedom.
- Family Pressure: In some rural areas, parents still encourage children to meet potential spouses through formal introductions. If someone reaches their 30s without a partner, families often step in.
Why Do Arranged Marriages Still Exist in Japan?
Despite modernization, arranged marriages in Japan persist for several reasons:
- Family Pressure: In some cases, especially in rural areas, parents still encourage children to meet potential spouses through formal introductions. If someone reaches their 30s without a partner, families may feel it’s time to step in.
- Time Constraints: Japan’s work culture can be intense. Some professionals, especially in fields like finance or medicine, don’t have time to meet people casually. Omiai offers a more direct path.
- Serious Intentions: People who engage in omiai aren’t looking for casual dating. Both sides are usually clear that marriage is the end goal. That’s appealing to people tired of game-playing in the modern dating world.
- Cultural Continuity: For traditional families, keeping cultural customs alive matters. Omiai can be part of honoring family traditions.
A Modern Take on Omiai
In the 21st century, arranged marriages in Japan have adapted. There are now agencies, apps, and websites modernizing the omiai experience. These platforms blend technology with tradition, providing the structure of omiai alongside the accessibility of online dating.
For example, the app “Omiai” allows users to connect with others interested in serious relationships. It includes filters reminiscent of traditional omiai: income, education, and family background, seen as a “safe” alternative to casual Western-style dating apps.
While some younger Japanese find arranged marriages outdated, others view them as practical. A 2020 survey by Recruit Bridal Research indicated that 60% of Japanese singles approve of omiai-style introductions, even if they wouldn’t opt for it themselves.
Public opinion is divided. A 2020 survey by Recruit Bridal Research found that 60% of Japanese singles still approve of omiai-style introductions, even if they wouldn’t personally choose it.
Arranged marriage themes often appear in popular culture—sometimes as comedy and other times as serious drama. Dramas like Nigeru wa Haji da ga Yaku ni Tatsu and anime like Kaguya-sama: Love is War parody and explore these dynamics, keeping the tradition alive in public discourse.
There’s no doubt that arranged marriages in Japan have decreased as love marriages and personal choice gain popularity. However, with Japan’s declining birth rate and aging population, both government and private sectors are showing renewed interest in encouraging marriages—any kind of marriage.
There’s no doubt that arranged marriages in Japan have decreased as love marriages and personal choice rise in popularity. But with Japan’s declining birth rate and aging population, both the government and the private sector are beginning to take a new interest in encouraging marriage—any kind of marriage.
Local government-sponsored dating mixers, matchmaking events, and company-hosted introductions are becoming increasingly common. Some cities even fund “konkatsu” (marriage hunting) programs. While not exactly omiai, they reflect the same aim: helping individuals find life partners with some guidance.
A modern twist on traditional matchmaking is Savvy, a Japanese app that brings the omiai concept into the digital age. Unlike casual dating apps, Savvy caters to individuals seriously seeking marriage. It mirrors the purpose and structure of traditional arranged meetings.
Arranged marriages in Japan might seem like a relic of the past. However, they reveal much about the culture’s values—family, structure, and social harmony. While younger generations lean towards love-based marriages and dating apps, the omiai tradition remains, albeit in a changed form.
Whether through family introductions, matchmaking agencies, or apps designed for serious relationships, the desire for companionship persists. Omiai illustrates that sometimes, love in Japan begins not with sparks, but with structure, trust, and a carefully considered cup of tea.
Whether through a family introduction, a matchmaking agency, or an app built for serious relationships, the desire for companionship remains strong. Omiai shows that sometimes, love in Japan doesn’t begin with sparks—but with structure, trust, and a carefully considered cup of tea.
